Popularity

Greg says the most important goals of a blog are accuracy, timeliness, and frequent updates.
I say the most important goals of my blog are to be funny, and popular. So, here's what I did in JUNE.

We went down to NYC to sell our apartment. It was a sad event which fortunately coincided with the fabulous Renegade Craft Fair, held in the bottom of McCarren Park's disused swimming pool. This cheered me up no end. My friend Stacey and I wore flat shoes and carried plenty of water. We approached from the north-west corner and took a zig-zag route perusing to the right as we walked south, to the left as we went north. Thus we were able to examine and exclaim over every single precious creation in a mere 4 hours. Back at Stacey's apartment, the dads and kids failed even to make it to the playground and as a result were forced to watch spring training on the flat screen TV.

Me: Well, here's one good thing about not having a loft anymore—we shook off a lot of fake friends. (Sigh) That happens when your apartment is cooler than you are. What a lot of people like best about you is your condo.
Stacey (Sweet Stacey): Oh no! That’s just your insecurity talking.
Me: Well, where are they now? Now that they can't lean on our (granite) kitchen island and suck down our booze?
Stacey: I’m sure they really liked y’all (Stacey is from New Orleans).
Me (The bubble-burster): Haven’t you ever suspected people’s motives for being friends with you? I mean, it must be like being really beautiful. Like you, when you were, say, 24 (Argh, tactless!) I mean, you’re really beautiful now, of course, but didn’t you ever wonder, um, in college, if people were friends with you for you?
Stacey: I was never Miss Popular. Pause. I wasn’t unpopular. I always had a boyfriend.
Me: Well, there you go.
Stacey (Laughing): No-oh. I never had loads of guys after me.
Me: OK, so you didn’t have a stalker or anything.
Stacey (Wide-eyed): Oh, I did! I had two stalkers.
Me: Huh.